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Don Bain

Episode 12: Maybe You Should Swerve a Little

Hi Friends, Pancho the ranch dog here. Just when I thought dawn patrol was getting boring, I run across these two characters wearing masks. The foreman, who you can blame for the poor pictures - because, well, he is not worth a durn this time of day - calls them raccoons. I got 'em treed OK, and then the trouble starts.

These two go by Chewy and Paco. Good thing I speak Spanish. I've been practicin' my Spanish ever since the foreman brought home a box of Bocadillos para Perro (o para Pancho as I like to say) from H.E.B. That's Dog Treats, Formulated to Freshen Breath, if your monolingual Bichon Frise at home is trying to follow along. Foreman had something smartaleck to say about I should be glad they are not from China. Anyway, I needed my Spanish with these two banditos.

Trouble started when no sooner than Chewy and Paco got up the tree, they started laughin' and pointing at me, saying 'esta la Pug, teehee, toy breed, ha, ha,...'. Laughed so hard they 'bout fell outta the tree. Well, I told 'em: "I got your toy pug right here. Come on down and get some. I'll show you toy!" Then they started saying unkind things about my sister. Shows how ignorant them boys are. I was part of a litter of two, both boys. I explained all that, and they said something about a Bruce Jenner operation and they really did mean my sister. Well I do remember an operation. That was the last time I go peacefully in a car to town. Could have sworn they said we were going to get teutured.

I try to be charitable. But let's just say if you are driving along and you see these two, well maybe you should make a good faith effort to swerve a little, but I wouldn't go so far as to use the brake pedal.

Your Pal, Pancho.