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Don Bain

Episode 14: You'll Be Hungry 20 Minutes Later

Hi Friends. Pancho the ranch dog with you once again. On dawn patrol we broke up a fight between a coyote and a bunch of buzzards. Not much sport in watchin' two sides when you are rootin' for both to lose. Turns out the fight took place at a crime scene as one of the calves was found dead right there.

I know my way pretty well around a food dish and I have never come across that smell. I think people call it veal. The foreman buys a bag of stuff they pass off as dog food he calls WhatEverWasOnSaleThisWeek. Supporting the pulp and paper industry is fine, but don' you think a hard workin' ranch dog pup deserves better?

Anyway, that bunch of felons - coyote and buzzards - got their fight catered and they served veal! I opened a full and complete ranch dog CSI investigation at the scene and planned to spend the day. The ranch foreman had other ideas, sayin' "Come on Pancho, let's get going to the back of the place to check the cows." I explained the importance of my work and he said, "No, we're going to check the live ones. Seeya. Good luck with those coyotes." and marched right outta the crime scene.

By now, all the other coyotes in the neighborhood where singing. I knew they had been up all night drinkin' and singin' - I heard 'em. After studying the dilemma for some minutes, I figured I should go with the foreman and provide security - didn't want him to be alone with all these ruffians about. Besides, the buzzards give me the creeps. One of 'em said, "Pug is a breed from China. You'll be hungry 20 minutes later." Don't know what he meant by that but all my creepy alarms were going off.

Your Pal, Pancho.