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Don Bain

Episode 20: She Wears Her Hearts on Her Knees

Hi Friends. Pancho, stuck in my ranch dog job, with you again.

They say some folks wear their hearts on their sleeves. This ole cow wears her hearts on her knees. You recall I mentioned how good therapy dogs have it? Well, I thought I would give the therapy dog career path a test drive with this cow as my first patient.

We had a session in the pasture, and after she got comfortable, got a little cud chewed, she told me just how unhappy she is. Turns out her bull ran off. It didn't really set her back that he left her for 11 younger heifers. No sir, it was that he also left her for 4 older and much less attractive old hags. She reports his calves are no good either, preferring to hang out at the salt lick rather than gettin' a job, never helpin' out around the field and generally treating Momma like just another ole cow. Bottom line, I was good at this therapy thing and dreamin' of better hours, better food and not fearing so much for my life everyday on the ranch.

Then it all went South as the ranch foreman says regular.

I guess I let on that I know the bull, Dang O Bull we call him. In fact, I probably shared that I agreed he was of poor character, ill temperament and seemed only good for plowin' up ground and bustin' fence we he turns on a dog. And I think I mentioned that Dang O snorts out foul vapors just before he attacks our favorite pug.

She turned on a dime. Fellars, it was like flippin' a switch. One second it was all poor me and he is such a low down rat, and the next second it was "How dare you speak badly of my Elvis!" Can you believe Dang O told her his name is Elvis? - and she believed him ?!!! Then, "I'm not gonna let some two bit trailer trash pug talk to me like that!" and fellars, it was cow on pug roller derby all over again. Barely got out alive and yes, the foreman had to fix fence again.

Yessir, therapy doggin' practiced on a ranch is dangerous too.

Your Pal, Pancho.