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Don Bain

Episode 5: Pond Scum the Magical Elixir

Hey friends, Pancho ranch dog wanna be here. I am gettin' the hang of this stuff, learning to talk like these ranch people, and so on. I just discovered a magic elixir they call pond scum. You know how you can be all stove-up after a rough day of ranch doggin'? Well, just coat yourself up with this stuff and it works wonders.

I have also found that if you combine it with a hint of cow pie and get spritzed liberally with cow slobber during maneuvers, well let's just say it adds a whole 'nother dimension of irresistible to ole Pancho. Y'all better lock up your lady dogs.

Can't say the same about these clowns in the ranch house. They are definitely practicing double standards. I know they bring supplements like St. Jims Warts into the house. They practice Western medicine right? Can't get much more Western than Texas pond scum. Yet they don't want it and something called my aura in the house, or at least on the couch. This ranch stuff has complicated rules.

I'll check in tomorrow.

Your Pal, Pancho.